That Voodoo that those Job Creators Do-do

Of course you create a mysterious corporation in Bermuda. That’s what job creators do-do with that voodoo they do-do. Do not question them or you will create uncertainty among them, and when they are uncertain we have to appease them by sacrificing teachers and firefighters to their temples on Wall Street.

Do not question whether or not they pay their taxes, or the ground will begin to rumble and cries of Koch-a-doodle-do will ring out from across the land, from televisions tuned to Fox News and buses painted with fancy logos.  Do not question them or they will become uncertain, they will rumble more loudly, and heads will roll.


Personification of human sacrifice.
Photo by: Wolfgang Sauber

We must appease the Gods of the Free Market, for we are merely the profit creators, the producers of value and demand. We are only the builders of their temples and the worshipers at their shrines, and we must build and worship and play the lottery, in the hope of gaining some sort of passage into these temples we have built. Most of us will never gain entry, but that is righteous.  We are promised our reward.  It’s a postmortem celebration of our selfless awesomeness.  Wait for it.

In the meantime, it is not for us to question, because when the curtain is drawn back, it creates uncertainty that the light of day will reveal these “Creators” as mere mortals, as “creations” rather than “creators.” The profit creators must not grow weary of bearing all of the uncertainty and insecurity of the world — for we must not disturb the blissful and eternal, oblivious security of the 1%.

And so it shall be.


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